Helping Communication Grow in Everyday Moments

Communication does not develop only during structured learning activities. For children, some of the most meaningful opportunities to communicate happen during ordinary moments: getting dressed, preparing food, travelling in the car, tidying toys, playing on the floor or getting ready for bed.

Children communicate for many reasons. They may want to request something, reject something, ask for help, share an idea, express discomfort, show excitement or simply connect with another person. Communication is therefore much broader than spoken words. It also includes gestures, facial expressions, body movements, eye gaze, sounds, pointing and the many individual ways a child shows another person what they need or feel.

Deborah Plummer describes communication as closely connected with a child’s wider social and emotional well-being. Communication difficulties can create frustration, stress and uncertainty, particularly when a child repeatedly experiences situations where they cannot make themselves understood or cannot fully understand what others are communicating. Helping Children to Improve The…

This is one reason why supporting communication should not become a constant demand for a child to “say the word”, “answer the question” or “try again”. The emotional environment in which communication happens matters too.

Start with connection, not correction

Imagine a child trying to open a snack packet.

Instead of immediately saying:

“Say open.”

A parent might first notice the child’s attempt to communicate and respond:

“You need help. Open?”

The adult has acknowledged the message first and then provided useful language alongside it.

If the child says “ope”, points, hands over the packet or simply looks towards the parent, the communication attempt still has meaning.

Over time, adults can model slightly more language:

“Open please.”

“Help me open it.”

“The packet is hard to open.”

This approach keeps communication functional and connected to what the child is already trying to achieve.

The book emphasises that children learn from the models around them and describes recasting as one natural way adults can respond to developing language. For example, rather than repeatedly correcting an inaccurate production, the adult can respond naturally with the correct form. Helping Children to Improve The…

Everyday routines are powerful learning environments

Parents do not necessarily need additional worksheets, flashcards or an hour of structured practice every evening.

Daily life already contains repeated language.

During dressing, a parent can naturally use words such as:

“sock on”

“other foot”

“arms up”

“your blue jumper”

During bath time:

“water in”

“wash hands”

“more bubbles”

“all gone”

During dinner:

“hot”

“cut it”

“more pasta”

“finished”

The value of routines is their predictability. A child experiences the same sequence repeatedly and gradually begins to understand the language connected with it.

Importantly, the source also stresses that skills should transfer gradually from structured activities into more complex situations. Targets are more likely to be maintained when they are relevant, manageable and enjoyable for the child, rather than simply being imposed as exercises. Helping Children to Improve The…

Give children time to respond

Adults often communicate very quickly.

We ask a question, wait briefly and then repeat it:

“What do you want?”

“What do you want?”

“Juice?”

“Do you want juice?”

For a child who needs additional processing time, this can unintentionally increase the communication load.

Instead, try:

“Juice or water?”

Then wait.

The response might initially be a look, gesture, reach, sound or word.

That pause creates space for the child to process the language, organise a response and take an active role in the interaction.

Communication involves much more than producing words. Core abilities described in the source include effective listening, observation, self-control, mutuality, perseverance and adaptability. Specific communication skills then include requesting, answering questions, initiating interaction, taking conversational turns and maintaining an interaction. Helping Children to Improve The…

Play without turning everything into a test

Play offers a particularly valuable opportunity for communication because children can experiment without the same fear of being wrong.

While playing with cars, instead of repeatedly asking:

“What colour is this?”

“What is this?”

“How many wheels?”

an adult can join the play:

“Your car is FAST!”

“Mine crashed!”

“Oh no!”

“Ready… steady… go!”

Then pause and see what the child does.

The child may imitate the sound, look toward the adult, push another car forward, laugh, repeat a word or initiate another turn.

All of these behaviours can contribute to a developing interaction.

Plummer describes play as a natural childhood activity through which children can imitate, experiment with different skills and outcomes and consolidate language. The emphasis is not simply on the materials being used, but on how the adult facilitates the interaction. Helping Children to Improve The…

Communication and emotional regulation are connected

Consider a child who begins crying because a favourite cup is unavailable.

From an adult perspective, the problem might appear small.

For the child, several things may be happening at once. The expected routine has changed. The child may not yet have the language to explain the problem. They may not know how to ask for an alternative. Their emotional response can therefore become the most effective communication strategy available to them.

At this point, asking:

“Why are you crying?”

may require more communication than the child can manage.

A more supportive response might be:

“You wanted your red cup.”

“It isn’t here.”

“That’s hard.”

“We can use the blue cup or the green cup.”

The adult is providing language for the experience while also reducing uncertainty.

The emotional environment surrounding communication is significant. The source argues that children should feel listened to, understood and supported in their communication attempts, and that activities can become stressful when children fear failure, embarrassment or feeling incapable. Helping Children to Improve The…

Notice the communication that is already there

Sometimes development becomes focused almost entirely on what a child is not yet doing.

Not speaking enough.

Not answering questions.

Not maintaining conversation.

Not using the expected vocabulary.

But useful intervention also begins by identifying existing strengths.

Perhaps the child brings objects to an adult.

Perhaps they point.

Perhaps they use a particular sound consistently.

Perhaps they pull an adult towards something.

Perhaps they communicate more effectively during movement or play than when sitting at a table.

Those behaviours provide a starting point.

A child’s individual strengths, developmental level, learning style and experiences should shape the way activities are adapted. The source specifically cautions against treating communication support as a fixed recipe because children differ substantially in both strengths and difficulties. Helping Children to Improve The…

When the child says less, the adult can sometimes do less too

Supporting communication does not always mean adding more language.

For some children, adults can help by simplifying their own communication.

Instead of:

“Come on now, we need to put everything away because we're going upstairs and then we're going to brush your teeth and get ready for bed.”

Try:

“Toys away.”

Pause.

“Then upstairs.”

A gesture, picture or demonstration can provide additional information.

The objective is not to permanently reduce language around the child. It is to make communication accessible enough for the child to understand and participate successfully, and then gradually build complexity.

Small interactions can have a large developmental role

One of the most useful messages for families is that supporting communication does not have to become another demanding task at the end of an already busy day.

It can happen while putting on shoes.

While sharing a snack.

During a silly game.

While waiting for the bath to fill.

While walking to the car.

While choosing pyjamas.

The source specifically highlights the important role of families in communication development and notes that shared play, laughter, creativity and problem solving can strengthen both communication and relationships. Helping Children to Improve The…

The goal is therefore not simply to produce more words.

It is to help a child experience communication as something that works.

Something that helps them express themselves.

Something through which another person listens, responds and understands.

And when communication becomes meaningful, safe and successful, we create stronger foundations for language, participation, emotional regulation and connection.

Reference: Plummer, D. M. (2011). Helping Children to Improve Their Communication Skills: Therapeutic Activities for Teachers, Parents and Therapists. Jessica Kingsley Publishers. The book was first published in 2011 and specifically addresses communication development through play, emotional support and adaptable activities across home, educational and therapeutic contexts. Helping Children to Improve The…