What’s Really Going On in a Child’s Brain?

I finished my first university degree 18 years ago. It gave me strong knowledge in theory – I learned about child development, education, psychology, and special needs. But after many years of working with children, I began to feel that something was missing.

Why are more and more children being diagnosed with conditions like ADHD, autism, dyslexia, sensory processing difficulties, or emotional and behavioural challenges? Why do some therapies and school supports work for some children – but not for others? Why do some children seem very advanced in one area and very delayed in another?

I couldn’t ignore these questions. So I started searching. Over the years, I completed more training – certificates, diplomas, short courses, postgraduate programmes like MAs and MScs. I went deeper into the areas of early intervention, neurodevelopment, inclusion, therapeutic play, ABA, sensory integration, and communication. I repeated some programmes several times – not because I didn’t understand them the first time, but because science changes. What we believe today may be different next year. And children change too. That’s why I believe strongly in lifelong learning.

A few years ago, during one of my later trainings, I came across the name Dr. Robert Melillo. I had never heard of him before, but something about his approach caught my attention. I became curious and started reading his books – Disconnected Kids and Reconnected Kids. Later on, I attended his seminars to learn more. And I can honestly say: it changed how I think about children, how I understand their behaviour, and how I support them in my work.

Dr. Melillo talks about many different conditions – not only ADHD, but also autism, dyslexia, Asperger’s, sensory issues, OCD, Tourette’s, behavioural challenges, and emotional imbalance. Instead of putting a label on the child and focusing only on symptoms, he focuses on the brain. And especially on something called functional disconnection.

Functional disconnection means that one side of the brain is developing faster than the other. When the two sides of the brain are out of balance, they can’t communicate properly. This affects attention, emotions, movement, learning, speech, and even behaviour. But the most important thing is this: the brain is not damaged. There is no injury. It’s not “broken.” It’s simply developing unevenly.

This made so much sense to me. It helped explain what I was seeing in practice – children who were brilliant at puzzles but couldn’t speak clearly… children who were kind and funny but had sudden outbursts or strong fears… children who looked “fine” on paper but were struggling quietly inside.

At university, I was mostly taught that these conditions were genetic or chemical problems. That they were lifelong. That medication was often the best option. But this view never gave the full picture. And it didn’t offer hope – just management.

What I’ve learned through Melillo’s books and seminars is completely different. He explains that many of these challenges are neurodevelopmental, and that the brain can change – through movement, play, sensory stimulation, nutrition, and personalised exercises. His approach is based on neuroscience, epigenetics, and brain plasticity. And most importantly – it’s not only for specialists. Parents, teachers, and caregivers can all be part of this journey.

One of the strongest messages I took from Melillo’s work is that we can’t support a child’s brain by only focusing on school performance or behaviour. We must go back to the basics – movement, balance, rhythm, touch, and real-world interaction. Children today are moving less, using screens more, and missing out on many of the sensory experiences their brains need to grow.

He also reminds us that development is not always smooth. A child who is eight years old may suddenly show emotional reactions of a three-year-old – not because something is wrong, but because that part of the brain is only now catching up. This is normal. It’s a sign of progress. But many adults see it as “bad behaviour” or “regression” – because we weren’t taught to understand it.

This is why I believe that teachers and early childhood educators also need access to this kind of knowledge. I’ve worked with many excellent professionals who care deeply about children, but who were never trained to understand brain imbalance, sensory development, or functional delays. It’s not their fault. The system doesn’t always keep up with science. But if we want to support every child – especially those who struggle – we all need to keep learning.

I know that not every school or centre has access to full training. That’s why I recommend starting with Melillo’s book Disconnected Kids. It’s written in a way that parents, carers, teachers and professionals can all understand. It includes checklists, exercises, and explanations that help you see the child in front of you differently – not as “difficult” or “slow” but as a child whose brain needs support, connection and time.

The children we work with today are growing up in a world that is very different from when we were young. Their challenges are different. So our understanding – and our methods – must also be different.

As a parent, teacher, therapist or professional – it’s okay if you don’t have all the answers. What matters is that you keep asking questions. That you stay open. That you keep learning. Because when we understand the brain, we don’t just see problems. We see potential.

And sometimes, one book, one idea, or one training can open a new door – not just for a child, but for everyone around them.